Being a Sex Worker Can Feel Like Being a Therapist

Especially if you’re a dominatrix.

Men seek out sex workers for a lot of reasons, the most common, of course, for sexual satisfaction. And yet, as a professional dominatrix, I’ve also found that some men have other reasons for pursuing my services.

Sometimes they’re lonely. Sometimes they don’t feel like they can be honest with anyone else about their sexual kinks. Sometimes they are married and feel trapped by the unbearable sense that they have to hide a big part of themselves and can’t live free, in the open.

Sometimes they have no one else to speak to about their fetishes and have found even licensed therapists to be judgmental. They’d rather book an appointment with a dominatrix where they can express themselves candidly and actually be heard — and respected.

This is my experience as a pro-domme. Though some men do book sessions with me just to engage in their kink and nothing more, but I often feel like I am also providing a therapeutic service to many of my clients.

I am not legitimizing this idea. Sex workers are not licensed therapists and it’s not our job to act as psychological counselors to severely emotionally disturbed men. Our jobs are risky enough to put ourselves in more danger by getting intimate with misogynists.

But still, I do think that some of my submissive clients come to me for more than just sexual satisfaction. They book my services to be understood in a way that they can’t be anywhere else. And yes, sometimes they are truly lonely, and simply want to be accepted for their humanity.

I’m sure it’s not hard to imagine that one reason men hire the services of sex workers is because they are lonely. This was the case of a new client of mine named Caleb.

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