How to Live Life According to Someone with Eight Cats

Life lessons from a crazy cat lady.

I was always going to be a cat person. My earliest memories are of a house that had cats running in and out constantly, and my family always had at least one cat until I moved across country and underwent five long, cat-less years.

I spent those five years dreaming of having a cat in my life again, so when I finally moved to the state I would call home for the foreseeable future, it only took a month for me to adopt a fluffy gray kitten.

A couple years later, my mom wanted to adopt another. Then I met a trio of kittens who needed a home and couldn’t bear the thought of separating them. Things escalated quickly, and now I have the love and responsibility of seven indoor cats and one stubborn stray who sleeps on my back porch.

Caring for pets has taught me countless things, so here are some life lessons I’ve learned, one for each cat.

Just cats! Kidding, mostly. Any animal lover knows that it’s easy to separate people into those who get it and those who don’t. My pets are my family. They are more important to me than almost anything, and I’m not interested in creating meaningful personal relationships with people who don’t have the same connection to their animals. Now, I have a way to test the water. When I say I live with eight cats, the response is either disbelief or jealousy. When someone new comes to my house, it’s the ones that sit and greet each cat with genuine excitement that I really trust.

When someone asks what pets I have, I often find myself hesitating. I used to qualify my answer every time: I have eight cats, but they’re not all mine! I live with three other adults! They were mostly accidental!

I’ve been trying to fit in and make the intensity of my feelings and interests more palatable for as long as I can remember. I don’t want to do that with my cats. I love having so many animals. They make my life better in so many ways, and they are an intrinsic part of who I am. It doesn’t matter if people don’t understand that.

I like living a small life. I prefer to only have my immediate family and a few close friends that I value, and I don’t let people into my world easily. Cats, on the other hand…I can’t stop letting them in. And each time I adopt a new cat, I find myself marveling at how easy it is to love them. They all come together, sliding into place to make a patchwork quilt of a family, each carving a new nook into my heart. If caring for so many cats has taught me anything, it’s that my capacity for love is big and ever expanding.

That being said, all relationships take time to nurture, even with pets. I’ve cared for each animal I’ve ever had, but it takes time for affection to turn into really knowing them. Cats are often considered to be aloof and said to be — sometimes affectionately and sometimes not — little assholes. The truth is that cats make you to earn their trust. You have to commit to providing for them and respecting their boundaries and have the patience to let them love you the way they want to.

It’s easy for people to brush animals off as being defined by a few traits. Yes, cats do generally share a different temperament than dogs, mice, or birds. But the more cats you collect, the more you realize their distinct personalities.

Each of my cats shows affection in their own way. Madam Secretary is more distant and prefers to get showered with attention briefly and only when she’s in the mood, usually preferring to just be in the same space as you. Two of my boys are cuddlers — Ackles loves to be pet while he kneads and Grimes likes to burrow and hold hands. (It’s as disgustingly cute as it sounds.) Their brother Norman, on the other hand, doesn’t love cuddling but enjoys rubbing up against your legs and shoving his fluffy body into the space between your hip and the couch. It’s all about knowing your cat.

I’m still in the throes of deconstructing the capitalist idea that I only deserve respect so long as I am working and producing. My cats are helping. In the grand scheme of the world, my cats don’t mean anything. Of course, every animal is a small part of biodiversity and maintaining healthy ecosystems, but in the end, my cats don’t matter to anyone but me. The most value they add to the world comes in the joy I get from them.

My cats are meaningful just for existing. I have spent thousands of dollars I couldn’t afford to save a kitten’s life just so that he could live in my house, eat my food, and occasionally fall asleep on my legs. And I would do it again because cats, like humans, are inherently valuable. They don’t have to do anything to earn my love, they just have to be.

I have people in my life who love me, but when I’m at my most insecure, it means something to know that these tiny, precious souls love me unconditionally. I know that I am one of the most important parts of their entire world and that I am capable of giving them a life of contentment and love. If that’s not purpose, I don’t know what is.

Like the benefit of a good lint roller, this really can’t be overstated. Cats shed a lot. Eight cats shed a lot more.

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